My Zoom Tea Party Baby Shower

Hello friends!

Due to the covid-19 pandemic, a lot of events are being cancelled or postponed.  Unfortunately, I was affected also when we had to cancel our baby boy’s baby shower.  I was very upset about it–even though it was going to be a very casual event, and even though we already have what we need for this baby anyway.  There’s just something about a baby shower that helps to prepare me mentally for delivering a baby into the world.  I need the friends showing up as a sign of their support.  I need the casual banter and encouraging words.  I need the celebration to mark the occasion, to solidify the reality of this child coming soon.  I need the boost to my morale so I can get through delivery day.

So all in all, I was bummed.  Well, a good friend reached out on the day the cancelled shower was supposed to be and encouraged me to move the event online.  I was hesitant at first, not knowing how to make it fun and not lame.  But my friend reminded me that a shower is more than gifts and that she and others would want me to feel their support through the means of a shower, even if it was an online shower.

I was convinced.  Really, I just needed the push–I needed to hear from someone that it would not be lame or weird if I threw my own digital shower.  And so I set about planning it; but this was right at the beginning of shelter-in-place for our area.  The internet did not yet have a lot of ideas available.  But with some creative thinking and help with planning from family, we threw together a super fun Books and Baby Zoom Tea Party Shower.

Here’s what we did for our shower–and some tips for you!

1. Guest list!
With everyone ‘zooming in’ on their own individual screens, and getting interrupted with noisy kids, I decided to keep the guest list more limited.  All in all, we had about 18 people join the party on video.  This was just about right.  We could have done the party with a few more or a few less and had just as much fun.

tips: limit your guest list to 20 screens or less.

2. Making Zoom Work for a shower
Zoom was great for my shower because we had a larger number of guests.  I kept my screen on gallery view so I could see all of my guests at the same time.  In the beginning, we tried having everyone on mute unless you wanted to speak, but it was way too quiet.  So instead, we kept our mics on and muted ourselves only when we had interrupting kids or other background noises come up. We asked for the party to be ladies only, but I also encouraged guests that if kids photo-bombed from time to time it would be ok.  I did this to lessen the number of noisy, interrupting, (albeit super adorable!) kiddos popping on.  But I also didn’t want anyone to miss out if the scheduled time didn’t work for having dads watch the kids instead.

tips: 

• Sign up for or use someone’s Zoom business account.  The free account has a restriction of 40 minutes to a meeting, which is really short for any size shower. You can subscribe for a month and then cancel if you aren’t using it again.
• Keep your screen on gallery view so you can see all of your guests at the same time.
• Don’t put all the guests on mute, but instead, ask guests to mute themselves if things get noisy on their end.
• Encourage guests to zoom on their own, without their kids; but be understanding that interruptions will probably occur.

3. Decorations!
When I started planning my shower, zoom baby showers were not yet a widely used search term in google.  So I improvised with decorations I had on hand.  I used a baby boy blanket over a table cloth as a table centerpiece.  I put my fine china tea set on top.  I adapted a New Year’s golden garland by adding some of our little boy onesies.  I reused some new year’s party fans to put on the wall.  And in the corner I made a little tower of sports ball Chinese paper lanterns, which I had purchased for the original shower.

I encouraged my guests to decorate their space and embrace the tea party aspect by having a cup of tea, putting up simple decorations, and whatever else they could come up with.

– tips:

• With a zoom shower you are decorating a much smaller space–just where the camera will see.  You don’t need a lot of decorations to make it fun and festive.
• Encourage your guests to decorate their space as well!  Reach out to them a few days before the event and remind them the day of that you would really appreciate it if they embraced the theme and participated as they are able.
• Etsy has a bunch of party and event shops that are embracing the zoom party phenomenon!  You can now find zoom party kits to decorate your screen space. And you’ll be supporting small shops, so win-win!
• Ask guests to take a selfie in their own party space and send it to you.  You can use these photos in a book to keep special memories of your event.

4. Dressing Up!
I wore a blue maxi floral dress, did my makeup a little extra, and put on a necklace and earrings.  I found the mom-to-be sash that I used for our daughter’s shower and reused it for this one.  I wore turquoise blue stick-on gel nails from Ulta. I felt pretty and feminine and ready for photos.  I encouraged my guests ahead of time to embrace the tea party theme by dressing up.  Many of my guests wore hats or dresses and one of my guests even wore long white gloves!

Tips: 

• Dress-up and make yourself feel pretty for your shower.  Your guests may only be viewing you through a video screen, but you will still be able to take pictures of your shower as a keepsake.  Besides, we feel good when we look good.
• Ask your guests to take a selfie in their party outfit to add to your photo book.

5. Games
I looked for ideas online and made my own tea party themed games using Canva.  We played tea party bingo, Mommy or Daddy, and Would She Rather.  For tea party bingo, we used it more like a scavenger hunt.  We called out the items listed and guests kept track of how many they each had.  The items were all tea party related; like a teapot, gloves, a hat, a necklace, muffins, etc.  For the Mommy or Daddy game my sister ingeniously had the guests vote by puckering their lips to vote “mommy” or giving a finger mustache to vote “daddy”.  Guests kept track of how many they got right.  For the Would She Rather game, everyone voted by raising their hand.  We opted not to do prizes for these games.  Instead, the winners were promised to be featured in my photo book as the winner.

tips:

• Think of games that are easy to play over video; guessing games worked great for us.
• Tailor your games to fit your theme.
• Etsy has a TON of digital downloads for baby showers, bridal showers, etc.  You can find all sorts of games, invitations, diaper raffle cards, and more in almost any theme.  Etsy shops have also adapted games for zoom parties; so you can search “zoom party game” and find a lot of fun options.
• Prizes, if you choose to give them, can be digital gift cards.

6. Gifts
I stated before that I don’t really need much this time since this is not our first baby.  However; receiving gifts is a way to feel loved and supported.  I still remember who gave what for a lot of our baby items and I think of these friends when I use them.  These nice little reminders pop up throughout the day to day to say that we are loved.  In light of this, I opted to make a book wishlist with Usborne books.  My friend recently started as a rep with Usborne; so I hosted a Facebook event through her.  The Facebook event was separate from my zoom tea party shower; but I invited all the tea party guests to the book event also.  Guests who wanted to were able to shop from my book wishlist and have them shipped to my house.  I’m excited to write a little to/from in the cover of the books, so I can remember when I read them to baby.

Tips:

• Most registries are viewable online anyway and have the option to ship to the mommy’s address.
• In lieux of traditional registries, you can make a book wishlist with Usborne Books & More.

7. Words of Wisdom
At the baby showers I have been to or hosted, we usually have a designated older mom to give some words of advice and a devotional.  This is my favorite part about a shower.  You get practical tips for being a mom and you are encouraged spiritually in your role as a mom.  AND it all comes from someone who has been through it all, giving their words extra weight and meaning.

As special as a devotional would have been, however, I didn’t feel that a 15-20 minute space of listening to one person speak would work well in a zoom shower setting.  So instead, I opted to have guests write out some words of wisdom for me on a notecard.  I then asked them to take a picture of the card and send it to me.  During the zoom party we invited guests to share some of their words of wisdom if they wanted to.  Some of the guests did and it was a nice, touching moment.  With the varied speakers and shorter statements, it was easier and more engaging for all of us to pay attention to in the zoom setting.

tips:

• Have guests write out advice, wishes for the baby, or encouraging words for the mom-to-be on a notecard.
• Ask the guests to take a picture of the card and send it to you to keep in your photo album.
• Guests can also post their advice or send it to you through social media or text; however, a screenshot printed out might not look as nice in an album.

As I look back on the pictures and memories from the event, I am filled with a sense of being loved and supported.  The Zoom Tea Party shower is quite different from the original plans I had; but we managed to put together a digital baby shower that I will remember with happy thoughts for years to come.

If you also have had to cancel such an important event, I hope that this post has encouraged you to make the best of it, embrace the moment, and move your party online.  If you do, I would love to hear about it!  You can comment on this post or reach me directly at lymelightfight@gmail.com.

Love to you all,

-Beth Leung

If you would like to reach me directly for encouragement, prayer, or questions, I can be reached at lymelightfight@gmail.com.